he pulled me to the floor and slipped my fingers into his. ’shhh…he’s watching’ he whispered in my left ear as he breathed hard against my back. i could feel the heat radiating across his chest, the sweat slicking my dress to my back as he hugged me close to him. sticky breath on my exposed shoulder and his fingers laced in mine. leaning back slowly, my back filled the cavity of his chest and i slipped my mind into the endless deviation that he creates for me.
i have been running recently away from him and the person he created me into. he’s tired of his plaything, and he wants me back. in the past i would have gone back to him with arms held open, but i am now a changed girl…the bruises and the cuts have healed and my heart has grown blacker with each passing day. he has been replaced and the man who breathes across my exposed shoulders is replacing the only man i have ever exposed my soul to.
its funny that we have come full circle and that i am rejecting the man who I had craved for years, for someone who i refuse to expose my past to. this new man…he watches me with a genuine awe that makes my heart beat faster…the way he holds my hand, one long pinky finger linked with mine makes me melt into a unfinished gelato…creamy and smooth. he has yet to actually touch me in a way that is inappropriate, but his voice on the crackling phone makes me smile.
who is watching me? and how does this warm body know i’m being watched? i wonder…
should i be concerned? or afraid?
i wish my body would make up its mind…
